Breaking News

The Internet to close on Sundays, effective May 1, 2009.

At the urging of the Secret Service, President Obama has agreed not to use his Blackberry on Sundays. To avoid any temptation, the President has issued an Executive Order, stating that the Internet will be closed on Sundays. It is only fair that if he can't use the Internet, no one else can either. The move was applauded by former Vice President Al Gore (Inventor of the Internet…or was he the architect) as a "green move" which will save untold amounts of energy with computers out of operation one day a week.

In a surprise announcement this morning, Brad Inman announced that his very successful Real Estate Connect conference will be renamed the "InMAN" Conference and will be exactly that, a MEN ONLY event. Brad is referring all women applicants to Bernice Ross's AFIRE (Awesome Females in Real Estate) event. Quoting Brad: "It's time that men had an event to call their own." Shocked by the announcement, Fran Thorsen conferred with Tucson's leading sexual discrimination attorney in preparation for a class action suit.

Century21 announced today that it would be changing its name from Century21 to Century22, to remain on the chronological cutting edge. The Franchise colors will also be changing from mustard and chocolate to green and white, taking advantage of the Green Movement and NAR's commitment to the Rose Bowl Parade.

And speaking of the Rose Bowl Parade,
In recognition of the GREEN movement, NAR has begun preparation for next year's Rose Bowl Float parade in Pasadena. Rather than roses, NAR will bedeck the float in a four-leaf clover motif. In keeping with President O'Bama's energy conservation policies, the float will be powered by green beer.

According to a Nigerian technology company, there is a new breakthrough in the fight against spam. NoSpamo.com has developed software that is guaranteed to eliminate all spam without any risk of false positives. If interested, NoSpamo.com will send you a check for $10,000 to cover the guaranty. You simply send them a money order for $1,000 to reserve your account.

In other news:
Facebook and MySpace are merging. The new entity will be known as either MyFace or SpaceBook. It might develop into two social networking platforms…one for the under 30 crowd (MyFace) and one for the older, baby boomers (SpaceBook).

At 1:53 AM this morning, April 1, 2009, Congress passed the "US in Real Estate" bill, version 2.
As part of a bailout package for lenders, the US Treasury will purchase all adjustable loans (toxic assets) in the country for 25cents on the dollar, and then resell them with the assistance of General Motors Finance for 65cents on the dollar. The bill contained a record 465 earmarks totaling over 500 billion dollars and is expected to save the auto industry and the banking industry in a single move. All profits will be split between the Big 3 auto makers with the principal amount of the loans to go back to the US government, to be allocated to incumbent congressional candidates re-election committees.

Have a great day....